A Cambodian Christmas

4.0 Seasons Greetings!


By now I'm sure most of you have had a Christmas party already. I myself just came home from my first Cambodian Christmas party with the staff at Web Essentials. It was "Oh-Chaa!"(wonderful/awesome). At local restaurant Romdeng (known to serve tarantulas) all the staff gathered to have a buffet dinner of Khmer cuisine..(sorry no turkey). We exchanged gifts where each person bought a gift for the random person we'd selected from a hat (the minimum for each gift was $3 - which seems small, but for some every dollar matters and you'll be surprised at what you can get for $3 here - a buck runs a long way- one of my loves ;). 


This will be my second christmas away from home (first in the Bay Area of California (that's in the U.S.) by the way. On that note, some of our Khmer staff have heard of a place called California.. but didn't know it's in the US :) haha! Anyways, I've been meaning to write again and I have plenty of draft-blogs with thoughts and reflections but they seem dated now.. but I'll share them later for you to understand my train of thoughts :)


Keeping myself busy has helped to keep my mind from missing home and the Christmas festivities that follow it. This week especially has been a special week for me. Let me tell you why...


4.1 The Bong Paoun Project


The Bong Paoun Project ("Bong" - older brother/sister and "Paoun"- younger brother/sister) project is very cool. It's an outreach project to children on the streets - children who sift through rubbish at night collecting plastic bottles, cans or anything worth recycle, children who aren't able to go to school because they work to support their family, children who trail around the streets begging for money or food. These children are the target for the project. How does it work?  Organizer and founder Pastor Tim Paton of this relatively new program believes there is a missing link between church families and street families. There are over 400 churches in Phnom Penh and yet there are still many people living in extremely poor conditions, more often than not, on the streets. So this project aims to bridge the gap by encouraging Christian believers to connect with street children by becoming their "Bong". 


As a bong, you are to make sure that your paoun/s attend school everyday and that they stop collecting rubbish at night. You are to meet your paoun at least once a week and also connect them with a local church. You become their older brother or sister - looking out for them and develop a relationship with them.


I'm excited to say that I and my Cambodian colleague Sophea just became bongs to four little paouns on monday. What's crazy is that these children live literally one minute walk away from our office. Little did I know that there was a slum area a few doors down our street. The metal gateway is small, and easily missed... once you step in, it's a whole other world. About 10 families live in wooden "shacks" raised above the ground on stilts around the edge of this plot of land. The children run around on muddy ground covered with small clam shells (which are often seen being sold on wooden push carts along the streets). When I first stepped in, it felt so odd... the feeling of shells crushing under my flip flops is not like on the sandy beach fronts back in NZ.. same feeling, but very different environments.. (I have to say this.. it was same same, but different.. if you've been to SE Asia.. you'll understand :P). 


We were brought into the house (which reminded me of a tree house.. because of it's bearing similarities esp. in size) where we sat on the bent wooden floor boards and was introduced to the family of the paouns we would have. A 10 year old girl and her 11 year old brother. Both of whom don't attend school and had been rummaging through the rubbish heaps at night. The girl was very shy and timid.. sitting silently on her knees, but the boy looked excited - hopeful perhaps of his future. The room soon became crowded as other children came to see what the commotion was about. I'm sure they must've wondered who we were.. 


Then we met another little girl who is just the cutest ever! I know I shouldn't be biased.. but some kids just melt your heart. This little 10 year old girl wishes to go to school, but her mother has objected because she needs her help to look after her baby brother during the day, while she goes to work (I can't remember what she does.. I think selling vegetables at the market). And the mother is 5 months pregnant.. sigh..! 


So Maira, one of the key members of the Bong Paoun project arranged with another mother from one of the houses next door to be the new babysitter (at a cost of course). Money plays a big part in every  decision here (just like the rest of the world). So this little girl can now go to school and Maira has found a school that has agreed to take these children in - even though they'll be years behind other children of the same age. 




4.2 Street Children Christmas Party  


Last night was the first time I got to spend some time with our paouns. A Christmas party was put on for all in the project. There's about 35 Bongs and maybe 60 paouns. So I park my moto at the office and walk down the street to meet my paouns.. and there they were, waiting eagerly outside their gate. A whole group of little kids run up to me.. most of whom I don't recognise..and call me "nek crew nek crew!" (teacher, teacher!) and start rambling away, pulling my arm towards their houses. It was so heartwarming .. to think I've done nothing and just being there was enough to cause a stir and excitement. The girls had bright red lipstick smeared over their mouths and powder all over their face.. I'm sure none have ever been to a party before... but it was really cute. I didn't understand what they were trying to say to me, but from their pulling I gather they wanted me to go to their house. We enter into the same house as on monday and I pull out my camera to take photos.. and boy was that exciting for them. Here's one of our first shots..

I think the disappearing paoun braw (little brother) on the left is an indication of the hustle and bustle! This disappearing boy and girls in the middle and on the right are my paouns.
Chendra (11), Srey Pouv (10) and No-Vee (10 - i think..)

 Apart from two girls on the back right side, the rest are children from surrounding houses.

This is looking out and down the DYI stairs of the house. This lady is a neighbour.. notice the ground.. muddy and wet..

 The boy on the left is 11 year old Chendra (I'm not sure about the spelling). He's one of my paouns.

We go on 3 separate motos to the party where other Bongs and their paouns were. It was at Eden Cafe.

The paouns at the Christmas party listening to the story of Christmas

Each child is given a box of fried rice for dinner

These are 3 of the 4 paouns. They loved the camera :)

No-Vee on the left loved posing with spooning food into her mouth. 

This is them, having a second serving of fried rice - which is A LOT considering how tiny they are. You can imagine just how hungry they are. 

What I really love about this project is that you're essentially sponsoring a child (like through World Visions' child sponsorship, or ChildFund or one of those organizations), but it's more than a monthly donation and a periodic letter... you get to know your child and experience life together. I always dreamed of how great it would be to change a child's life through sponsorship and meeting them one day.. and now I can.. and more. Though on that note, I think for me, meeting them would be for my own benefit than the child (which is selfish I know). 


4.3 Speaking Khmer


Anyways, it was really great to be able to be apart of this experience with my paouns last night, but I must say I felt completely helpless for a most of the night. Mainly because of the language barrier. That is something that has not been resting well with me..so much so that I felt distraught on my way home after meeting my paouns on monday. I feel like I've been here for almost a year and my Khmer is still very very basic. I've never been forced to learn and have gotten by so far without having to learn in-depth - as most of the staff at Hagar and Web Essentials can speak english. Besides from learning common phrases for bartering at the market and bargaining with the moto drivers, I've had little motivation to learn - which I admit is not good. 


So now, with this project, I need to learn in order to communicate with these kids and have an impact beyond giving them material things and chauffeuring them around. It's a challenge..and with only about 2 months remaining, I wonder how much I'll really be able to learn or how much I can really do.. and whether it's really worth it..but now that I think of it.. yes it does seem worth it.. even if it is for a couple of months....I feel like in order to connect with the less fortunate and impact their lives, it's vital to learn the language. It seems so obvious, but it was so easy for me to neglect it and only learn what I needed to learn to get by. 


4.4 Come back


So my question to myself is whether it is my calling to come back to Cambodia (beyond my one year stint). I've been thinking about coming back after having a break back home in March.  I feel like if this is where I'm suppose to be, then I need to invest my energy into learning the language. Right now I'm not so sure. If I'm struggling so much, then maybe it's better to go somewhere where I can already speak the lingo.. I mean China has always been on my heart.... and I've always wanted to polish up my mandarin. Dad thinks I should go back to uni and study more so I have more to offer... and mum.. well she's being mum and keeps badgering me to come home "FG" (for good)... which doesn't make things any easier. 


I think for me, I need to get in touch with God and really pursue what He wants me to do. Right now, a lot of my thinking is what I want to do and how I will do it.. whereas it should be what God wants me to so and to trust Him no matter what. God has been so good and I have no reason to doubt... and yet the human in me needs a plan of attack, a clear vision and assurance of knowing that it will work out. 


4.5 Prayer this Christmas 


So my prayer this Christmas is to have the heart to pursue after God and to do what is right for God with pure motivation. Not 60% for God and 40% for me..which I think is the deal in most cases... I'll do something for God, but I'll almost always get something out of it.. or have other reasons for doing it. I wish it was easy... Will you pray for me? I would greatly appreciate it :) I really want to have peace of mind. Right now, my mind is in disarray with uncertainty about the future amongst many other things. I just want peace. And maybe I'm being hard on myself cos I find myself walking around with a guilty conscience a lot of the time... or maybe it's just cos I'm so aware of my sins and God is speaking to me through my conscience.. I'm pretty sure it's the latter.. ><..!


Alright, well it's late and I have work tomorrow! No holidays for Christmas in Cambodia I'm afraid..! 
Have a Merry Christmas and thank you for reading. I'll keep you posted on what happens with the Bong Paoun project over the next few weeks/months. 


If you have any feedback, words of wisdom or anything please share. I'm all ears :)


Sra-lun 


Bong Srey Jeanie


4.6 Shoe Boxes!


Oh yeah, and one other thing I really want to share. For those who do the Christmas "Fill a Shoe Box" project through organizations like Samaritan's Purse, just so you know, about 40, 000 shoe boxes came through this year through SP and they're all going to a province in Cambodia. I think it's so awesome! Having seen how little people can have here, I can imagine the pure joy in a child as they open up a shoe box full of fun (for those who are unfamiliar, it's when you pack a shoe box full of toys, stationary or other goodies suitable for a specific child eg. 5 year old girl). It's SOO awesome to hear that children here are on the receiving end. It's a HUGE deal so thanks to those who support and have been involved in it :) You're "Oh-Chaa!"

Ride with me through Phnom Penh

3.0 Spyglasses


Recently my friend got a pair of "spyglasses" which are basically sporty looking sunnies with a built in camera and mic. So, I thought, what a golden opportunity to film what it's like to ride a moto through the streets of Phnom Penh. So here are a couple of clips of my everyday journeys through the city.. weaving in and out of traffic and dodging oncoming cars.. it's like a video game. You'll notice there's a bit of a difference between Cambodia and nzee.. or cali.. Enjoy the ride!


Here's what it's like to ride home from work
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrR1Q2Rtxo0


And here's from my new home to work
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh8_fag2B2A


ps. today I had my first "accident".. a guy pulled out right in front of me as I was driving down a main street... no one got injured and our motos were unscathed..so it's nothing news worthy..thank goodness!




3.1 Mooving


Well, today is the day that Koni and Barbara fly back to Switzerland.. and so the rest of us, Dominik, Rebecca, baby Yannick and myself just moved into a new home earlier this week. We now live further south of the city, and a little bit off the tracks.. you can see my journey to work in the video link above. 


The transition has been good.. though I must admit I was sulking on tuesday.. when I was packing.. because I came to realize that I don't cope well with change that aren't my decision. I was fine moving to the US and moving to Cambodia, but having to move to a new house was not by choice, but rather circumstantial - Koni and Barbara were leaving and we needed to find a new place. But you know, it's still a huge blessing -  to have a comfortable place to live, and my own room with a/c..! It's a smaller, humbler home (nothing really compares to the house we were in), but still quite a high standard for Cambodia. 


It's sad to see Koni and Barbara leave, as they were quite a huge part of my life here.. so it'll be interesting to see how their "unpresence"  will influence my stay. I'm trying to stay positive and I guess, not having them around means I'll have more time to develop my relationships with my other friends here :) 


Oh yeah, I'm in a movie making phase and if there's anything you would like to know about Cambodia, just let me know - I don't have the spyglasses anymore, but I do have my pink olympus :)

Nitty Gritty

Hello!
It's been a while I know.. so let's get down into the nitty gritty. 


2:1 Only Essentials


From my last post, you read about how I was trying to divide my time between Web Essentials and Hagar. Half time here, and the other half there. Whilst it sounds like a totally feasible plan, I found that I could not give myself wholly to neither company. My mind would be in two places, and I found that neither company was getting the best out of me.. so a decision needed to be made.. Web E or Hagar?


This was a toughie. Hagar was the reason why I came to Cambodia in the first place, however Web E presented an opportunity of growth in many areas - not just career wise, but also pushing me into new realms ie. tutoring design, holding bible studies.. and also I felt like I made a greater impact at Web E. 


To cut to the chase, basically after seeking advice from what I believed to be "wise counsel", I decided to go with Web E. 


2:2 Patience young one


It's been probably a month since I've been solely working at Web E and it's been challenging and rewarding at the same time. Challenging because I never ever thought I would be designing websites.. (that's always been my brother's "thing") and also communicating - the language barrier prolongs tasks that are often so trivial and minute. So often I find myself in situations where my patience is tested.. having to explain things slooooowly.. to repeat myself.. but you know what? It's good. How else are we to build character, but in times of trials? 


I'm reminded of what is it to be "christian" and that is to be loving, gentle, kind and yes, patient! Also, I'm inspired at how the staff have picked up english... and for their passion to learn to new vocabulary.  


2:3 The Word at work


The past few months have been awesome in terms of bringing the Word to work. We have bible study sessions at lunchtime on mondays and prayer meetings on wednesdays. It's such a great privilege to be able to share the good news so freely in the work environment. I think that is one of my greatest joys at work - to have a purpose beyond building websites. 


When we first started, I wondered who would come to the studies.. who would be interested? My doubts and fears have been washed away because each week 5-7 people join in the sessions. It's so encouraging! At 12:15 pm we go out for lunch at a local Khmer restaurant where we eat family style for around 6000R ($1.25) each (let me just add as a side note here; there's no such thing as a "no carb" diet. They ate a tremendous amount of white rice.. and why no ve t, when the restaurant offers unlimited rice for 25 cents?)We then head back to the office and learn the basics of Christianity. 


I have been using the notes from The Alpha Course booklet as the basis for the studies and that's been working out so far. Although I'm always open to new material.. so if you have any let me know! Some of the staff also have the new testament in Khmer and English which is great for them in gaining understanding. It would be great to give them the bible in full Khmer/English - if you would like to donate for some let me know. I think we can get one for around $10 each. 


What amazes me is the way the Cambodians here are so open to the Christian faith. Their eagerness to learn is so special and unlike any other cultures I've encountered. Perhaps it's because they are young (early - mid twenty's) and haven't had the same privileges/exposure as those in wealthier nations. I can't put my finger on it, but it's inspiring nonetheless and I'm grateful to be a part of it. 


2:4 Can I have more time please?


You know how they say, "you don't solve money problems with money"? I'm contemplating that "you don't solve time issues, with more time". Even though I have "more" time since not working at Hagar, I still find myself as busy as ever.. which makes me think I'm either not good at managing my time, or that I'm overloading myself with commitments - or perhaps it's both!


What I love and admire about the Swiss (Dominik and Rebecca) is in facing the demands in their lives (starting a social business and raising a baby in a third world country) is their ability to work efficiently and still "keep their wits about them". It must be a "Swiss thing" because it's been a rarity for me to see it anywhere else... I must learn their secret.. 


2:5 "tschuss" to Koni & Barbara & baby koni


The super Schwarz duo are heading back to their homeland to have their baby boy - Koni Jr! They'll be leaving in one month exactly... which is exciting for them for me, but I personally hope they will return.. Koni is quite the entertainer with his story-telling and magic tricks. We'll see where God leads them. 


Dominik and Rebecca found a house to move into and were so kind as to offer me a room to stay in too. It's a three bedroom Khmer styled house, smaller than the one we live in now, but still very livable. Beautiful mango trees in the tiled front courtyard and papaya trees on the side are some of the perks of our soon-to-be home. 


This time I'll start paying rent - something I've never really done before (except for a few months in the US- but that doesn't even count, cos that was partially subsidized too..) But it's ok because Dominik and Rebecca are willing to increase my salary at Web E to help pay for it. Knowing my financial situation now, they know that I cannot afford to live on my own. So it's amazing how God continues to provide through them. All up, room, electricity, internet, water will cost $200/month - which is reasonable. Only thing is next to my room, will be baby Yannick.. and for all you mothers out there, I'm sure you're all too familiar with the cries of a hungry baby in the middle of the night...so we'll see how that goes..! In any case, I am glad and thankful that I'm able to live with people I'm familiar with and that I feel safe and comfortable around. 


2:6 All the single ladies


I thought this topic should get a mention. It's funny how there is an abundance of single, christian girls here in Cambodia. Yes, ABUNDANCE. I think it would be safe to say there's a ratio of 7:1 or even higher. So relationships are a hot topic amongst us single ladies. Where are all the good men aye? Haha 


I've come to the conclusion that fellas our age (mid twentys and above) are pursuing their career and financial stability.. while their counterparts are in pursuit of meaning and purpose. What do you think? If you're a christian male, can you offer me another reason as to why there are "a few good men" here in Cambo? 


Just for fun, Nathan has a list of available christian guys here.. and the ages of those on the list range from early twenty's to fifty's.. and lemme tell ya, it's slim pickings. I think there's only six? maybe seven on the list.. for the hundred single girls here. FYI ladies, if you're looking for your soulmate, you probably won't find him here...! haha


Jokes aside, this topic of relationships is one that gets a lot of attention.. almost too much. I was discussing with one of my good girlfriends here about how there is so much emphasis on finding "Mr. Right" and how there's pressure going back to our homelands, where many of our friends are in established relationships if not already married and moving onto the next phase of their lives. Where does that leave us? Single ...? Forever?! Deng, deng, deeeng..... whilst the thought of that is scary, I've come to realize that if we truly believe there is a God, and that He is in control, and that He knows exactly what's on our hearts, then He will provide for us - just like He's provided for us in all other areas of our lives - just as long as we follow His ways and do His will. Let's not worry ourselves with things out of our control, and leave it up to the Man in charge. 


"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:25 


So mum, don't worry! Your future son-in-law is in God's hands :) All in good time... or shall I say, all in God's time. 


2:7 Falling in Love with Cambodia

Yes it's true! I was sitting on the back of a motodop today and contemplating about how much I love this country and the people.. I love being able to walk onto the road and jump onto the back of a random moto and letting him whisk me away to my destination (as dodgy as that sounds, I promise you it's safe!) Or riding like a princess in a carriage aka tuk-tuk. 


I love that I can eat noodles and papaya salad from street vendors with my girlfriends for $1.50 and to getting bag of sweet popcorn for 50 cents. I love the playfulness and light-heartedness of the Cambodian people. I love not having to worry about the latest fashion trends and that I can get away with wearing a $2 shirt from the markets. I love the simplicity of the people here - how they live day-by-day.


 I love knowing that this country is at an incredible stage of development, where 20 years ago, the streets were ruled with bicycles and now filled with motos and cars. I feel like I'm coming from the future and can see the potential growth of this country and it's people. I L.O.V.E. it :)

2:8 Home sweet home

People often ask when I'm coming home.. and it was suppose to be earlier this month, but I've postponed it until my 25th birthday (yup, arriving home on 4th march next year).. but even that date is tentative. I simply chose it because my flight agent couldn't find flights home in Feb... I'm really not sure how long I'll be here.. maybe it will be until march.. but the thought of going home causes a feeling of uneasiness in me.. which makes me think perhaps I should be here longer. (If so, I should definitely learn the language.) 

I know I don't belong in NZ. Despite my family there and having grown up there and having a great malaysian/kiwi community to belong to, I feel more at peace with the thought of being here. I am afraid of going back and facing the same dilemmas as I did with being allergic to the pollen/air and such.. It's just that I seemed to thrive in the US and now here..not having to battle with eczema has been a huge blessing. Perhaps my reasoning is based more on fear, rather than God's calling.. but still.. surely there must be a reason why I struggled so much in nz..why would I choose to be in a country I am allergic to?

This is still something I ponder and I think will continue to be on the prayer request list. 

2:9 Round it up

Thanks to all those who continue to reach out to me, to pray for me and to those who simply remember me :) Time and time again, I am grateful for you. Special thanks to my parents who continue to support me and provide words of encouragement. I think without knowing they have my back, I would not be where I am now. Also to my friends - thanks :) 


Thanks to God for the close network of girlfriends I've gained here the last few months. And also for how God has protected me in all the times I've tested Him.. I'm thankful that He continues to forgive me for all the wrongs I've done and gives me the chance to try again and do better next time. 

I don't have much to ask for, as God has provided already beyond my expectations. What I do ask is that I will faithfully follow the path He has paved out for me and that I will live each day with integrity and be open to how He is working in me through every situation I encounter. Pray that I will be sensitive and obedient to the things He places on my heart. 

Lastly, I want to share a verse has been resonating in me this past week: 

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled" Matthew 5:6

jeanie

Project 365 has begun!

Project 365 is my attempt at snapping an everyday moment in my life for the next 365 days. It's to share with you my life in Cambodia (at least for the next 6 months) and also a way for me to remember :)

Check out the album on my Facebook - if we're not friends add me! And if you're not on Facebook well I'll be adding some to this blog so you won't be missing out :)

Peace!

My First Blog

1:1 Welcome 


I know, I know.. it's taken a while to get this going.. but I'm a firm believer in "better late than never." - trust me, when you work in Cambodia, there's just no other way to think.. 


This is where you will get a taste of my everyday life in Cambodia... I will share my joys, triumphs and how God is working in me during this time. So thanks for dropping in and joining me :) 


Special thanks to Miss Gina Whang for inspiring the name of my blog. She gave me a purple shirt from Korea that has the word "JEANASIS" printed over an image of a bible... so random! random awesomeness :) 


So much has happened over the last few months.. and I often think about writing an email update.. only to find myself being distracted by other things I want to do.. like GF/DF (gluten free/dairy free) baking. My love for baking has not deceased... haha. What can I say? It's therapeutic :) It's great using the tropical fruits that are so abundant here.. mango + coconut cupcakes, pineapple + coconut cookies, orange + coconut.. haha ok letting go of the coconut. I recently gotten into the habit of making pancakes for the Swiss couples I live with.. yes, if you let me live with you, I will make you pancakes  :) haha and don't worry they're not GF/DF :) They are gloriously glutinous fluffy banana pancakes with dark milky choc chips :P


1:2   Ma + Pa + Cambo


Just last week my parents came to Phnom Penh having spent a month traveling around China. I love my parents and I especially have a special bond with my mum. It was really great to share with them the life I live here.. the people I know, places I work, eat, live, worship and play. So now I think they are reassured that I am being taken care of and there's little reason for them to worry. We spent a couple of days up in Siem Reap - Angkor Wat and enjoyed roaming the temples and the fish massages the night markets have to offer. I'm just really thankful that I have them... and I think my time apart from them has made me more appreciative of the time we do have left to spend together. I can't imagine what life would be like knowing they weren't around... so I'm really thankful I was able to share this time with them. 


On our way home from SR, we witnessed what would be my first fatal accident. Right in front of our bus, a motorcyclist was knocked off his bike and not wearing his helmet, his head was bleeding profusely.. his body lay right in front of us in clear view... and in true cambodian tradition, a man jumped back and forth over the still body.. apparently they believe that this will stop the victim's soul/spirit from escaping the body.. they do this when they think the person is about to die.. 


Seeing this was a shocking reminder of how life can be taken away from us at any moment.. that boy could have just been making his way home...but to never make it...is a rude awakening.. it also made me realize that I really should wear a helmet.. even when riding on the back of a moto.. it's against the law to drive a moto without a helmet, but for passengers it's ok. I often don't wear one when I'm a passenger..but really my head is precious haha..I think I'll start wearing my helmet from now on. 


1:3 A Breath of Fresh Air


In the same week that my parents came, a missions team from GRX Church Fremont came to Phnom Penh. This was the branch of the Sunnyvale GRX church I went to in the US. What a blessing they were. They came along with a care package from my beloved small group AoL - a box filled with my favourite Trader Joe's goodies.. TJ's kettle corn, peanut butter puffins, pb, dried mango.! oh my.. I was in hysterics when I opened the box! haha I'm rationing the kettle corn.. practicing self-control.. haha that stuff is addictive! 


The group of 8 headed by Pastor Victor were incredible. They were like I'd described.. a breath of fresh air in polluted phnom penh. They were diligent in the tasks, prayerful and their trip was very much focused on serving the children at an orphanage.. and in spending time with me, they were inadvertently helping me. They lifted up my spirit and being with them reminded me of how much I enjoyed being around ABC's in the US... which I'd have to say was the best time of my life... but cambodia is not far behind. They posed questions about life here, day to day concerns, things I remember being worried about before I came here.. like the quality of water, food poisoning, mosquitos, wearing sunblock.. and it made me realize how once you live here, getting a mozzie bite and a lil burnt is the least of your concerns. But naturally, those are things any western or first world foreigner would be concerned about.


Even though I only got to spend 3-4 days with them, that time made an impression on me.. and I made friendships that I feel will help my spiritual health/growth and I hope to do the same for them too. 


1:4  Working Life - Hit the Refresh Button


Lately, and by lately I mean the last few months, I've been struggling with figuring out if what I'm doing here is what I really should be doing. Is this what God sent me to Cambodia for? Graphic design isn't my passion.. but it is a need here. So people often ask me, what DO you want to do? But it shouldn't be like that.. it shouldn't be what I want to do, but what God wants me to do. Often we are asked to do things we don't want to do... and there comes a time when we simply must obey. That is what I've been thinking. Tell me if I'm wrong or if you disagree.. but back it up with bible verses. God tells us to serve Him whole heartedly. WHOLE heartedly.. that means with everything I have to offer. And I must admit, I struggle with that. I still want time to do my own thing.. I want to explore doing crafts here, sewing, making bags, creating products, making silly t -shirts cos getting anything custom made here is super cheap.. but that is not what is needed... and it's not what has been presented to me. The immediate need in front of me is working as a graphic design advisor at Web essentials and the graphic designer for Hagar/Nathan. They rely on people like me to serve them. 


So that is what I am going to do. Even though I am reluctant, I feel like that is what I should be doing. I pray for a renewing of my mind, to have a good attitude towards work, to serve the people around me and not only think of my own selfish desires... I want to serve them to the best of my abilities. To make the most of my time here and focus on the people. I'm reminded that it's not what we do, but it's how we do it that matters. To show God's love in everything we do and to walk as Jesus did in every way. 


The cambodians here are so inspiring. They are patient, calm in the times of adversity. Slow to anger and always, always smiling. I love the people I work with. 


Now my time is spilt between Web essentials and Hagar. 8-12pm at web essentials everyday and at Hagar, well it has been flexible. Nathan just yesterday, expressed the need for me to be in the office.. so a schedule is being developed for me. Although I would much rather work from home or outside the confinement of an office space, the staff need to have access to me.. and need to see me working.. because as Nathan explained, the concept of working from home is non-existent in Cambodia. 


1:5  He is Looking After Me


As my time has passed here, I am continually amazed at how God has looked after me. Placing people in my life at the right time.. and answering my prayers and concerns and providing for me in ways that I never imagined. It's so easy to take the things I have for granted.. to become discontent and focus on what I don't have. Just today I decided to get back into writing 5 things I'm grateful for. I started this when I was 14 I think.. and everyday I would write anything that I was thankful for.. and I noticed every time I stop taking the time to do it, I hit a slump in my walk. So today is a new beginning :) Time to count my blessings again. 


What makes things so amazing is just how things work out..we never know who we're going to meet and where that relationship will take us..I think that's what hit me lately.. how every decision I've made, every person I've met, have led to me where I am now.. what would my life be like if I never went to the US.. I wouldn't have made the life long relationships I have now... wouldn't have had the opportunity to come to Cambodia. I'm sure God would have continued to be by my side.. but where I would be I have no clue. 


Enough pondering.. time to get to the facts. So Dominik and Rebecca have been a real blessing. As I've mentioned, Koni and Barbara are expecting and so will be returning to Switzerland in September. This means being out on my own..finding my own place, paying rent, for a/c and being completely independent. That is daunting for me, having lived a life being dependent on others. But Dominik and Rebecca know my situation and said they would be willing to increase my salary once K+B leave.. and that they want me to be able to live comfortably here and if I had any financial issues, I could always go to them. BLESSING! What an answer to my prayers.. 


I had been praying for direction.. and I said Ok God, if you want me to stay then you will provide the way. That has been a continual prayer of mine as with many other ex-pats here. I'm not going to worry about it and I'll just leave it up to Him. If nothing comes up, then I'll just have to go home. Seriously it was within the same week that D+R approached me with their proposition. So then my finances suddenly became something I no longer have to worry about or think about. 


And then yesterday, Nathan mentioned paying me as well for my work with Hagar. Though that would mean I would no longer be a volunteer, but a part time ex-pat staff member. So now I'm wondering if it's right for me to take money from Hagar.. I surely didn't come to earn money.. but could this be a way God is providing for me in order for me to stay longer? It is definitely reassuring me that I don't need to worry about finances just knowing that the offer is out there. 


1:6   A Word of Thanks


I always wonder who will take the time to read this.. and I have a fair idea of who does read my lengthy emails.. thanks Donna :) haha I just want to say Thanks to everyone.. everyone that's supported me in this journey.. everyone who has been my friend.. who've reached out to me.. for all that you've done thanks :) I know a lot of people have played a role in me becoming who I am today. So thanks :)


Peace.


Jeanie